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vermillion

by lovedoll

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1.
grave 02:44
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i’ll force down every mouth full of food despite it all tasting like sand only for i know if i don’t do it soon i’ll collapse down right where i stand and i have to keep standing for now so that i can take one last stab at showing you that much like the food that i eat much longer without you i’ll pass it’s hard to even open my mouth sometimes i must use my hands pry open the hatch like a basement floor toss it in there like i’m taking trash swallow my pride with a mouth full of wrath in the morning when i’m at my wake avoid that talks that i must have decisions about how i set my sails so i don’t veer away from my path though there’s not much left on this boat no people, nor cargo, just trash i don’t see the point in not sinking this joint the one option i have is to crash the only thing i know i can do best don’t dig in the ground i know that i’ll fall in the soil tossed around guess i packed it way too thin don’t bury me now i’ve so much left to give give it one more day don’t dig my grave don’t bury me in my grave bury me in my grave bury me in my grave
2.
rocks i can't chew 04:31
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think i stepped on some broken glass think i feel it thru my shoe feel like thinking of all the ways that my feelings don’t come through but u just keep on walking just like u said you’d do i remain in shards lodged into u we built trees, it felt so alive even if we fought the whole time i felt safe hoping u wouldn’t leave, chop it down at the end of the night assembling the memories clinging to a fleeting home i hold on like a shirt in the rain i’ll keep u warm if u just keep me but i won’t leave ur back i keep myself sticking to the feeling think i’ll try something new feels like each time i do nothing feels so fulfilling put my hand on the stove i’m too scared of the cold the burning could take it all even if it succeeds there wasn’t much left of me at least i wouldn’t fall chop it down at the end of the night chop it down at the end of the night chop it down at the end of the night chop it down at the end of the night
3.
tripped on a trunk 02:03
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running thru a forest tripped on a trunk never taking root outsmarting entropy a more dangerous path beneath when we grasp for each other but still you catch me you caught me running thru a forest tripped on a trunk the other trees threaten their immobility but I never collide with such stability
4.
locket now 03:41
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dead middle of the night i get so confronted by the cold it’s already to marrow i can feel it in my hollow bones it’s dark now, there’s no sound i wonder if the world’s stopped turning around my incessant rattling’s scared the sun from ever coming out the warmth has drained it’s been replaced merciless rain more leaving stains i kept a locket now it just feels dumb i kept a locket now it just feels dumb it’s already november i look down and see myself distorted and colorless fixed for as long as i can tell is this what u see? no wonder winter won’t wish us well no nearsighted notions but u know how to make it all melt u meant too much that we lost touch it goes as such often enough the sun comes out no more rain now we figure how to slice the clouds i kept a locket now don’t care if it’s dumb give u my locket now it looks so dumb ow! i know u remember the way thru this door up the hill through avalanches to my floor so chase the scent of wine find the time to kill maybe then and only then the world can unstill maybe then, the world can unstill
5.
avalanches (cover) 02:01
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if snow is flesh in gardens: we don't have mouths to talk about it between avalanches we can find our language between fire blankets we can speak our language but if snow is like skin: it pulls away, so easy, dragged from the body what if all stripped wood is branches and all frozen lakes are water then our bodies will be avalanches then our bodies will be avalanches

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released November 8, 2021

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lovedoll Seattle, Washington

wildly talented lyricist
mildly talented multi-instrumentalist

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